2 to 3 Years

Many changes happen to your child during this year of life. Some – like losing baby fat – are easy to see. Others – like gaining social skills – are more difficult to spot.

A 2-to-3-year-old is much better at reading other children’s and adults’ signals. They show that they know much more about symbols through their dramatic play and their expanding vocabulary. Your toddler will work out simple dramatic play themes like dressing up to go to a party or pretending a block is a telephone. Although she may prefer “parallel” play – sitting happily next to another child and playing with similar toys – you will also see your child playing with another child more often.

There will be conflict because your toddler is concerned about what is mine and what is yours. Having two or more popular toys, if your child spends lots of time with others, may help; however, fights over toys are likely to occur. Don’t despair. For the most part, quarreling is how toddlers start learning the social skills that enable them to get along with others later in life. As your toddler works out these conflicts, she will begin to see that others have feelings too, and she will build a sense of herself as a social being – competent and cooperative.

Your promotion of language skills at this age is very important. Read to your child often. Ask lots of questions. Encourage your child to sing. If your child sees that reading, writing, and talking are important to you, she’s likely to want to imitate you!

Physical Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Give many opportunities for outdoor play.
• Hold your child’s hand while you walk up and down stairs.
• Bounce a large, soft ball back and forth.
• Provide crayons, markers, and paper along with lot of encouragement.
• Encourage self-help skills such as washing hands, brushing teeth, and dressing and undressing, but assist when necessary.

Typical 3-year-old Milestones

• Runs, jumps, and gallops
• Uses alternative feet going up the steps while holding your hand
• Catches a large ball with two hands
• Looks at things without squinting
• Knows how to use a toothbrush
• Buttons and unbuttons large buttons

Language Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Listen and talk to your child about her activities and your own.
• Read at least one book to your child every day.
• Provide music for and sing with your child.
• Point out familiar words like her name and “Stop” on the stop sign.
• Ask your child “who”, “what” and “where” questions about stories and events.

Typical 3-year-old Milestones

• Enjoys being read to and listens attentively
• Uses short sentences to ask and answer questions
• Follows two-step directions
• Recognizes a favorite book by its cover
• Repeats simple rhymes and songs
• Identifies her name on a label
• Scribbles on paper and reports what she wrote

Intellectual Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Play games finding colors and shapes around the home, in the grocery store, and at other places you go.
• Play matching games.
• Provide a variety of dress-up clothes and props as well as adequate space for pretend play.
• Label some of her belongings with her name and point out words that she sees often.
• Give your child one and two-step directions, such as “Please go to your room and bring me your shoes.”

Typical 3-year-old Milestones

• Sorts blocks by color
• Recognizes that she has the same number of cars as a friend
• Identifies several shapes and colors
• Talks about similarities and differences, such as hair color
• Is able to repeat rules but unable to follow them consistently
• Enjoys creative activities such as art and music

Social/Emotional Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Arrange for your child to play with other children for brief periods.
• Make opportunities for quiet time to play alone but under supervision.
• Provide opportunities to interact with other adults – older brothers and sister, cousins, and grandparents.
• Be predictable and available so your toddler knows she can count on you to help her solve problems and keep her safe.
• Avoid anger and violence at home or on television.

Typical 3-year-old Milestones

• Separates with more ease from a parent or caregiver
• Plays side-by-side with other children, occasionally interacting
• Talks to familiar adults easily
• Enjoys playing alone
• Asks for adult help to solve problems
• Shows concern by helping a friend that falls

Toys for Learning

• Lots of pretend play materials – washable dolls and stuffed toys with accessories, dress-up materials, housekeeping items, puppets, and transportation toys
• Sand and water play materials
• Wooden and hollow blocks
• Puzzles – 8 to 20 pieces
• Pattern-making materials like pegboards, stringing beads, or color cubes
• Dressing, lacing, and stringing materials
• Lots of picture and pop-up books
• Art materials – crayons, markers, paper, clay/dough, glue, and collage materials
• Musical materials – instruments, recorded music
• Push and pull toys and balls
• Ride-on equipment with pedals
• Climbing equipment with soft surface underneath

A Few Book Suggestions

• All by Myself by Mercer Mayer – a great book about growing independence and all the things a young boy can do
• Here Are My Hands by Bill Martin – celebrates hands, feet, ears, and other body parts
• No Peas for Nellie by Chris Demarest – Nellie would rather eat a big furry spider than eat her peas!
• Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood – a wonderful picture book about changing emotions
• Ten, Nine, Eight by Molly Bank – a counting book that starts with 10 and goes down to 1

Terrible or Terrific?

An 18-month-old baby and a 21/2-year-old toddler are as different as night and day. A child in the in- between months is often said to be going through the “terrible twos.” During these months, your child may have many temper tantrums and often refuse to let you help her with anything. “No!” seems to be her favorite word. On the other hand, her mood can change from sobbing to sunny in the blink of an eye.

If this is happening to you, consider it typical behavior. During these early months of life, your child takes a giant step. This is when she’s learning to talk and communicate with you and others. Her body is changing as her movement becomes better coordinated. Most of the bad behavior you see is directly related to the frustration she’s experiencing. A child may see you tie her shoes with perfect ease – and wonder why she can’t do the same.

So what can you do to help you and your child make it through these sometimes difficult months?

First, try not to become angry. Remember that you are dealing with a very small child, not a small adult.

Do not expect her to always understand or be flexible enough to do what you want – many grownups can’t even do that!

Think about what you already know about your child and use the information to help you through. Does she require more sleep than most children? Then make sure she gets it. Does she have trouble staying still and paying attention? Don’t make her sit still too long and provide plenty of opportunities for movement and play.

Most importantly, begin to see your child as her own person – an individual who may be quite different from you. Remember that you are your child’s teacher as well as a parent. Model behavior that you want for your child. When things get tough, try not to yell. Remain calm and find a way for both of you to cool off. With your guidance and loving support, the “terrible twos” really can be terrific.

Think about what you already know about your child and use the information to help you through the terrible twos. Does she require more sleep than most children? Then make sure she gets it. Does she have trouble staying still and paying attention? Don’t make her sit still too long and provide plenty of opportunities for movement and play.

Most importantly, begin to see your child as her own person – an individual who may be quite different than you. Remember that you are your child’s teacher as well as a parent. Model behavior that you want for your child. When things get tough, try not to yell. Remain calm and find a way for both of you to cool off.